Deb Hall was in her 30s and married with four children when she came out as gay.
She said it’s a typical story; many members of the LGBTQ+ community wait until they make a major life change — like retirement or leaving the military — to live their authentic life, especially transgender people.
But coming out as gay or trans often leads to loneliness, Hall said, especially in a religious state like Utah.
“We have people that when they leave the dominant faith here, it is a crisis in your life, because you've lost not only, probably, your family, but you've lost your entire community,” she said.
That loss is something Hall knows firsthand. She grew up in Murray, Utah, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While she is still close with her family, she said they’ve struggled to support her.
Hall said that’s why it’s important for LGBTQ+ people to build relationships with each other.
That was the message Hall brought to Park City on Tuesday for a Pride Month speaker series at the library. Weaving her own history with that of the LGBTQ+ movement, she talked about the specific need for connections among seniors.
So, Hall and her partner, Angie Solat, founded Seniors Out and Proud four years ago.
The nonprofit gives LGBTQ+ members who are 50 and up a place to build bonds — though they accept people of all ages.
“It's 50 and above, but if you feel like you have an old soul, you're in. You just want to hang out with us cause you think we’re super cool, you're in,” Hall said.
The organization hosts a variety of events for members, including pickleball, racquetball and cycling, as well as game nights and book clubs. Members can also attend arts events through SOAP partnerships with the Utah Symphony, Utah Opera and Pioneer Theater Company.
Long-time Park City area resident Jolene Aubel said she’s looking forward to joining SOAP. The 62-year-old is a self-described late-bloomer who also came out as a lesbian later in life.
“To find out about SOAP is huge because as we age, connection is so important for us, because it can be easy to isolate,” she said.
Hall said SOAP’s biggest service to the community is helping to prevent social isolation. She said she hears many stories from LGBTQ+ Utahns who have struggled with loneliness, then gained friendships through the nonprofit.
According to Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Elders, community members are twice as likely to be single and live alone and four times less likely to have children. Due to discrimination and social stigma, they are also more likely to face poverty and homelessness and have poor physical and mental health.
45-year-old Rose Moris has been a SOAP member for almost three years and though she wasn’t looking for an organization like SOAP at the time, she said it’s changed her life.
“I just love the community,” she said. “Everyone who's involved in SOAP is amazing, and they're all wonderful. I've made some great friendships. I love getting out.”
Hall said all are welcome to join SOAP. They can sign up for the monthly newsletter online.
